It Seems That My Babysitter Takes Care Of My Baby Better Than I Do, Do U Feel That Way Sometimes?
Posted on 23. Nov, 2009 by in Q&A
so i am a new single mom..and i have an old friend who babysat my 2 month old today..
-she knew how to soften his skin (by rubbing vasoline between your hands all over his body) now he feels like a newborn all over again..
-she bathed him and made sure all the little “cracks” between the fat of his skin were clean..she got rid of all the dry skin..and dry milk that was left on him from eating…
it just seem like she knew what she was doing more than i ever knew. and she doesn’t have a child! (besides experience from watching her nephew and what not)
and it made me feel like such a bad parent!! that i couldn’t bathe him right…or make his skin as soft– i was clueless!!!
on top of that–i am single and trying to return to work..so it makes it impossible to give the baby 100%…have u ever as a new mom felt that way?? there are so many things to learn!!!
Sarah S
Nov 23rd, 2009
I felt that way all the time. Don’t worry about it. I am sure you are a very good mother!
Ally
Nov 23rd, 2009
As you said, you are a new parent. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and that you’re not doing everything correctly. But, I’m sure you’re doing wonderfully and doing everything you can for your baby. Just because someone knows a little more than you do doesn’t mean they’re better with your baby than you are. Don’t second guess yourself or feel bad about how you’re doing a mother!
Lappet
Nov 23rd, 2009
Nobody can know everything, just count yourself lucky that you have people to learn from! Also, you are exhausted, its easy to be a good babysitter for a few hours….if she was as sleep-deprived as you, she would have trouble too:)
queenb
Nov 23rd, 2009
It’s a learning process. I wouldn’t worry about it. Be glad that you have someone to learn from.
Besides…your baby loves YOU more…regardless of how soft or how clean he is.
mom_in_g
Nov 24th, 2009
I am a mom of five and I have found that if your actions with your children are motivated by love, that’s all that matters. If you feel you are not savvy in matters of child-rearing, find out if your local hospital or red cross offers parenting classes. Or at very least, use yahoo to ask questions about how to bathe or care for your child. I am new to this whole Yahoo answers thing but it seems that by clicking on a persons profile, you can see questions they have asked and questions they have answered According to your profile, you have answered 211 questions including one entitled “If I masturbate, am I still a virgin”. Rather than taking the time to answer trite questions, spend time getting to know your child and use available resources to learn how to properly care for him. Nothing will pay bigger rewards.
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Nov 24th, 2009
Oh how I know how you feel! I have my grandmother, mother, and sister riding my butt about how to care for MY daughter! I have my own preference on most things and am welcome to advice but they SHOVE it down my throat. Either I’m changing her diaper with her head at the wrong end, not feeding her enough (apparently my breastmilk wasn’t good enough either so I switched to formula!) They make comments ALL the time and all I want is the chance to learn, not be disciplined! I’m sure she is this way because it’s different with your own. You probably don’t fret over the little things because you’re not worried with him being your own. You know how you’re always scared to drop someone elses baby but with your own… it’s just not the same!
I know how you feel though really, it’s tough being a single mom with no spousal support and everyone else making you feel like what you’re doing isn’t enough.
I hope things get better! Good luck! You’ll learn it all in time!
the_wick
Nov 24th, 2009
Hey I was a single mom to a newborn once too. DON”T stress it, I felt that way as did every single mom I have ever met!!! You are the one responsible for the 24/7 care of your baby, plus work…., etc…. Sometimes you’re tired, stressed, overwhelmed, anything!!! It’s no big deal!!! So she knows how to make his skin soft, does she know how to soothe him at 2 am? oes she know just how he likes to be held, what funny faces or noises you make at him, the songs you sing, I could go on here forever!!! No she dosen’t you do…his mommy!!! And trust me 15 years and 3 more kids later and I still have day where i feel like I am just not the perfect mother! I am slowly learning that there is no such thing!! It’s a hard concept to learn but one I think we all should practice learning!! It wouldtake away tons of stress and worry.
So please don’t lwt it bother you, there are tons of things to learn, tons of things to do in a day, and as I am fond of saying anymore, If at the end of the day they are all still alive, I have done my job as a mom, just as you have!!! GOOD LUCK AND DON”T STRESS IT!!
msme
Nov 24th, 2009
Well first and foremost is it possible that you may be experiencing post pardum depression? If you were that could magnify your feelings of “inadequacy”. And you may need to seek medical counsel.
That being said, sweetie you have to relax. You are doing the best you know how to do and the rest you will learn. When someone does something you didn’t know, treat it as a learning experience. You’ve seen her do this and next time you can be the one to show somebody else. No one knows how to do it all..my child is 6 and I still learn every day. So pat yourself on the back and take satisfaction in the knowledge that you are one person and you will do the best that you can do and your baby will know they are loved.
Anna&Thomas' mommy
Nov 24th, 2009
I feel your pain, It’s hard as a single parent, but all you need to remember is, if the baby is healthy and happy, you are doing the right thing. You are not going to to be able to get all the “cracks” clean ALL the time, and you arent going to know the right thing to do all the time. But you are doing the right thing. You are providing for the baby. The baby cant do it for itself. Before my first child, I have never held a newborn in my life, I was 18 when I had her, but do you know how I knew I was a good mom? It’s because my daughter had everything she needed, she was healthy and happy. Now she’s 3 and it’s hard to believe it went by so fast and now there a million other things I have to deal with. It is a learning experience and you will catch on quickly, trust me.